(From a guy’s point-of-view)
There was a time in my life when I didn’t use sex toys—neither by myself or with a partner.
I was young then, and so unwise. I guess I had a milquetoast attitude that comes with growing up in a rural conservative community that led to me being pretty vanilla during my first decade or so of sexual activity. There was also the naive notion that I was a goddamn stallion on my own and didn’t need to bring in a toy to improve things for either my partner or myself. (Which is downright goddamn laughable. But young men are often idiots when it comes to sex, especially regarding how inept and/or inexperienced they may be.)
But then a girlfriend suggested we try one to help her get off more easily, as I couldn’t make it happen, and it worked, which made us both feel better.
Now I try to use them every now and then, with a partner when I can, and let me tell you: doing so is often a real treat.
Here are a few reasons you should consider bringing toys into the sexual fold with your partner, if you’re not already living your best sexual life. (And if you’re not using toys, you’re probably not, to be honest.)
Shopping for them together starts a conversation.
You may not know everything about your partner’s sexual preferences and proclivities, because they may have felt slightly uncomfortable mentioning them or have never really been incentivized to do so.
Shopping for sex toys together helps open up that conversation about what they like or have always been curious about, and how it might be fulfilled. And of course this goes both ways. If you’re shopping together, really get after it and pick things that you think both of you will like, as well as toys that initially intrigue one of the two of you. As you use them, the conversation will continue to become more open.
Basically, sex toys are like de facto bedroom icebreakers.
You get to try something new.
The longer you’re together, the more important it ostensibly is to try new things together. It’s a great way to keep things fresh and sexy.
I’d especially recommend calling a variety of sex toys off the proverbial bench if ever you and your partner find yourselves in something of a sexual rut. They can reinvigorate things for both parties, and get you back to the kind of sexual frequency and excitement you experienced during the “Honeymoon Period” I’m sure you remember so fondly.
And who wouldn’t be into that?
They satisfy curiosity.
If you haven’t used sex toys with a partner and you’re reading this, then I suppose it’s safe to assume that you’ve been wondering what it would be like for quite some time. And if you don’t go ahead and try out one or a few, you’ll always wonder what you may have been missing out on, right?
So give them a shot. Is there a chance they might not be for you and your partner? Slim, sure, but it’s there. Either way, at least you’ll know!
They do what you can’t.
It made me feel terrible when I couldn’t get my girlfriend off during sex. Maybe I wanted my partner to enjoy sex as much as (or more than) I do. Maybe it’s my fragile ego. I don’t know. It’s probably a combination of both. But in that case, a sex toy did what I couldn't, and achieved the end goal. It took a lot of the pressure off me, and at the end of it all we were both satisfied. And mutual satisfaction is absolutely crucial to any couple’s sex life.
Your sex life can always be better.
Sex toys can’t make your sex life better. Period. And there’s no ceiling to it, either. There’s constantly something new to discover that one or both of you is really going to like (and haven’t yet tried), and hey—you should feel free to go ahead and chase that bliss.
Want more? See how these 5 real couples react to Moxie by We-Vibe.