Dating is fun and exciting when it’s new and fresh. But at some point, you've been with someone for a while and even though you are totally in love with them, date night starts to feel a bit routine. You go to the same restaurant, maybe a movie, maybe to that bar you’ve been to a hundred other times. 

How do you spice things up and keep it fun and interesting in a long term relationship? You have to conjure change by getting creative when it comes to activities. Alternative dates are a great way to keep things exciting, add some zing, and satisfy your need for change. 

An ideal date includes 3 essential musts: conversation, connection, contact (eye contact and physical contact). 

You also want to literally set the stage for romance. Whether you love of hate the show The Bachelor, it’s a great example of how to have an effective first date. “Dates on The Bachelor are specific and strategic when it comes to manufacturing emotions through the use of red roses, candles, warm colors, soft and sensual textures, romantic music, and activities that allow for conversation, as well as heart-racing shared experiences that help to build trust and opportunities for more expansive and simultaneously deeper connections,” says Laurel House, Dating and Empowerment Coach at ManWhisperer.com.  Do that. Set the stage for romance. Maybe not helicopters and yacht trips. But there are plenty of realistic date ideas that can achieve the same effect. 

Write a date night bucket list. “Maybe jumping out of a plane or flying to Fiji might not be a great or cheap first date, but what about writing a song, donating your time at a soup kitchen, or taking dogs for a walk at a rescue kennel?” says House. Write up your list together, then try to accomplish one each! 

Here are 5 ideas to get you started: 

Take a Train 

Most cities and towns have easy train access. And unlike driving to your date destination where the “fun” part of the date begins on arrival, when you take the train, the fun starts the minute you board- especially if there is a first-class car that serves snacks and libations. “You don’t need to go far, even a 45-minute trip to the next town over can feel like an adventure. Find a cute little local hotspot, museum, or activity as your final destination for a memorable date that allows you to stand out as someone who is thoughtful, creative, and fun!,” says House. 

Have a Traveling Multi-Course Dinner 

Drinks, Appetizers, Dinner, and Dessert… is much more interesting when enjoyed at different places. Progressive dinners are so fun and make the night into a sort of adventure. It’s best to find a street known for awesome places to drink and eat, then make a plan to move the conversation from place to place for a multi-course, multi-restaurant meal. “The movement makes the date more exciting, allows for different environments—which contributes to the conversation, and extend the amount of time that you get to spend together,” says House. 

Do SOMETHING to get your heart rate up 

Create a little friendly competition. It has been shown that people who work out together feel more chemistry towards each other thanks to the release of sweat-induced endorphins. Go play pool, ping pong, or challenge your partner to a game of shuffleboard. Once you work up a sweat, grab a drink and dinner and deepen the relationship with great conversation. Add something new and different to the equation like the Moxie by We Vibe which will get your heart racing during dinner and can be little secret between just the two of you.   

Wear a Wig! 

No matter how much you love each other, regardless of how hot their body is, your attraction and chemistry can quickly lackluster. Adopt a Halloween-attitude to initiate a little extra excitement. ”Dressing up and role playing can instantly spice up a routine relationship. Because let’s face it: variety makes life interesting! When your partner dresses up like someone else, you get to feel like you’re being “bad,” even though you’re really being so good (and it will feel that way… so good!). A wig is the easiest way to change your appearance. But you’ve got to suggest it in a smart way. Say, “I wonder what you would be like as a brunette. I bet your personality would be a little different too.  You’d probably be tough on me, like a drill sergeant. You’d be sexy and edgy. I’d only be able to handle that you for a few hours, or at least for a quickie in the bathroom. It would be fun to see you in wig like that,” says House. 

Surprise Mid-Date Sleepover  

If you’re going out to dinner or drinks at a hotel bar, in the middle of dinner hand your partner the remote for Moxie and let the tease begin.  “When things really heat up pull out a key card to the room that you secretly secured earlier. In the room are your overnight bags, pre-packed earlier that day too,” says House.